Fireworks at Home: Navigating Teenagers and Perimenopausal Waves
Picture this: tempers flare over the smallest things, emotions feel out of control, and suddenly it feels like you and your teenager aren’t even speaking the same language. Now add the unpredictable waves of perimenopausal hormones, and the tension can feel unbearable. You might worry you’re losing control, damaging relationships, or not cut out for parenting. The hit to your confidence is real—but you’re not alone.
While few talk about it outside the home, this chaotic period can also be an opportunity to connect with your teen in ways you never imagined.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it—the struggle is enormous. I’ve cried, I’ve fought… and I’ve experimented with ways to navigate it differently:
But I truly believe that viewed from a different perspective can make the most profound difference for you and your teen.
1. Be Honest: Talk About Emotions Openly
Parenting teens during hormonal changes is challenging for both of you. Share your feelings as well as theirs. Surging emotions affect you both, and talking about it can build empathy and trust. Your teen will see that it’s normal to have confusing emotions and need support.
2. Lighten the Mood: Use Humour to Diffuse Tension
A little laughter can go a long way. Breaking down barriers with humility and humour can calm clashes and help you reconnect—even in the middle of chaos.
3. Build a System: Create Rules for Managing Clashes
Agree on strategies to de-escalate conflict:
Pick a “code word” for high-emotion moments.
Take breaks in separate rooms when needed.
Use phrases like, “I sense we’re both in the amber zone—I don’t want this to escalate.”
4. Normalise the Experience: Remind Yourself It’s Natural
Both perimenopause and teenage puberty are normal life stages. Knowing this can reduce frustration and help you approach challenges with perspective.
5. Prioritise Self-Care: Stay Grounded for Both of You
Looking after your own physical and emotional well-being is essential. It sets a positive example for your teen and helps you manage stress more effectively.
Try moving together: a swim, a weights session, or even some yoga. I personally love swimming and doing yoga with my teen, and I’ve been amazed at how receptive they are. The benefits of this shared time have been incredible for our connection. These are moments where we support each other to push a little harder, lean in, and, most importantly, laugh together.
Thought about joining Mind’s 30 days of yoga this November? It might just be the perfect time to roll out the mat and commit to even just 10-15 minutes a day with the added nudge of a bit of accountability.
6. Seek Support: Don’t Go It Alone
A healthcare professional, counsellor, or coach can offer practical tools for managing perimenopausal symptoms and teen-related stress. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
From Chaos to Connection
This season is challenging—but it’s also an opportunity. By being honest, using humour, building trust, and caring for yourself, you’re not just surviving—you’re showing resilience, empathy, and connection to your teen.
You won’t get it right every time, and that’s okay. What matters is showing up, learning together, and remembering these clashes don’t define you or your relationship—they’re just a chapter in the story of growing, both as a parent and as a woman.
If you’d like personalised support navigating this stage, consider booking a coaching session to explore strategies that work for you and your teen. You don’t have to go through this alone.